So ok, I have a skinny girl living inside me. I promise I'm not schizophrenic.
You see, this skinny girl has been with me pretty much all my life. She's been trapped inside this fat girl's body. She's dying to come out. Seriously. I think if I don't let her come out now - she's going to kill me. Either that or obesity will. So, if I decide to stay the way I am, either way, I'm gonna die.
I have been overweight since about age 7. I think I started to eat my feelings around that age. My parents went through a pretty bad divorce, and my mom, my sister and I moved from North Carolina back to WV to live with my grandparents. Ya know, I LOVE my Mamaw's cooking, but let's just say it's "down home." It's great! In no way, shape, or form do I really actually blame my weight problems on either of these factors. Let's just say they didn't help any, ok?
I could rattle on and tell you story after story of how my weight has affected my life. I could go on and on and tell you how much better my life would be if I had been thin. Eh. Honestly, I love my life. Aside from weight, are there things I'd like to change? Sure! However, I serve an amazing God, I have an awesome husband, and wonderful family & friends. I have a great life. Weight has NOT affected these good things in my life!
Ok, I'm not going to lie, this isn't an incredibly well thought out blog. It may NEVER be. It is, however, going to document the skinny girl's journey to freedom. Let me tell you a little bit about the skinny girl. We're not well acquainted, but, I do know the girl has STYLE! All my life, I have in some way wanted to be "fashionable." Even though I LOVE me some Lane Bryant, sometimes it just doesn't hit the spot. I would LOVE to be able to go into a store and pick out just about anything (within reason haha) and know that it's going to look good! Again, I try to be fashionable now....and I feel like sometimes I succeed. Other times I get frustrated and don't really care. I've always tried to play up my good attributes. I've always kept good care of my hair. I just about always accessorize in some way. I LOVE accessories! Not this this blog is AT ALL about this - but, I'm in the beginning stages of starting a store on Etsy selling handmade accessories. And more. Maybe I'll tell you more about that at some point.
That was a long paragraph - and I don't really care to change it. Instead of eating my feelings right now - I'm writing them!
So, this is actually day 2 of skinny girl's journey to freedom. I don't have EVERYTHING planned out yet. I've been kind of gearing up to do this for a while. On Sunday at church, our youth intern's message talked about the impossible things in our lives - and how they are ALL possible with God. He asked us to write something "impossible" in our lives on an index card. At the end of the message, he asked us to come and shred that index card. Symbolizing the fact that it's NOT impossible. Totally true. I actually didn't go up and shred anything.....I wrote down my weight problem, but, didn't shred it because at the time, I thought, "Eh...I KNOW that this is NOT impossible for me (with God)." I didn't think there was a need to symbolize it, because I knew. Maybe I should have. It's still in my purse. I'll shred it tomorrow at work...haha.
The reason I know it's not impossible? I've lost SO MANY pounds over the years. In the last 5 years I've had 2 successful weight-loss attempts using the Weight Watchers plan. It's a really good plan. Between the attempts, I lost a total of 80 pounds. That sounds massive. It was. Except that I've gained it all back. My latest attempt was last summer. I had my wedding coming up, and I wanted to look my best. I lost 30 pounds. I ran and I took my now sister-in-law's Turbo Kick class. I ate right. I was so on-track and was ready to keep going after the wedding. Somehow, I lost sight of that. Maybe it was the endless food on the honeymoon? All-inclusive resorts are amazing.......but, man...watch out! There's food EVERYWHERE! Who knows? That may have just set me off.....and I QUICKLY fell back into bad habits. I have explored the possibility of my birth control causing *some* of it, and I have recently switched after my doc said that it was highly probable. I've never gained 30 pounds in one year.....so it was a concern. I've always been a gradual gainer, or a maintainer.
So, yesterday was really day one. I decided to go out and walk on my lunch. I went out in the 90+ degree heat and I walked for 50 minutes. I went home...and maybe this was a little extreme, but I went out for day one of the Couch To 5K program. For anyone interested - go to C25K.com If you have an iPhone, there's a great app under that name. Day 2 (today), not as extreme, but, I fired up a Turbo Kick DVD. I used to be able to do that stuff pretty well, but man....I am OUT OF SHAPE! I couldn't believe it....I had to stop and rest. It kind of made me mad!
So, again I say - I don't have a plan, but I'm formulating it. I may do the Weight Watchers plan on my own. I don't dig the meetings so much. Most I've gone to are boring and I don't find myself getting much out of them. Maybe it's the leaders? I don't know. As of now, I'm really just trying to be more conscious of what I'm putting in my mouth and exercising. After all, food moderation and exercise are key. I don't care what plan you're on. It all comes back to that.
Well, I know this has been a very rambly post, but stay tuned and as the pounds come off! I'm not sure what will actually happen here, but I'm anxious to start. I'll share some great recipes that I come across or "invent." I'll share how I'm working out. New foods I try. I'll share my success and God forbid, failures.
Thanks for reading and hopefully joining me. I can't wait to introduce you to the skinny girl!